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HAPPY 2013 EVERYONE!!!
Its high time to wish all my good friends in this beautiful world of blogging and to write something on resolutions for the year ahead. Sorry for the delay.
Beginning of 2012 was much inspiring and great resolutions were made by me and my husband, by setting a goal of reading 25 books, within 12 months of the year. I started with much enthusiasm by collecting few books written by some of my favorite authors , but somewhere in the middle of the year I lost my route towards the goal. I had to give up my resolutions in the half way itself, by reading only four books , due to some personal reasons. Some sort of misunderstanding occurred to a friend whom I count very close . Ever since I couldn’t turn even a page of the books which I collected with much expectation. However I have no regrets, the four books which I read in the beginning of last year were worth reading, for a whole life time. My husband successfully reached his destination spot by reading 27 books , a bit more than the given target.
Of course 2012 was not a bad year, though. Family and relatives were of great support. Its a great experience to be a part in the happiness and sorrows of all our dear and near ones.
Another achievement of 2012 was my entry to this beautiful world of blogging where I could explore new areas of thoughts and visions. I am grateful beyond words, that I did find my own space to share my thoughts and views, to reach out to people made up of every sort of personality, nearly every nationality and a group bound together by similar visions.
This year, without much expectations and promises, started New Year as a normal day. Of course, I feel like I need to get up and start moving on. I mean, it is, but with no resolutions, no promises, only hope , thats all.
I have come up to reading again. I have gone many months without picking up a book, but now I can’t put one down. I went on for too long never realizing that I had a choice in matters and then I ended up stuck in a situation that brought a lot of discomfort.
We are all blessed in many ways, we just need to focus on positives, rather than negatives.
Right now I have chosen a book, an intriguing pilgrim travelogue, ‘ DEVABHOOMIYILUDE ‘ written by M. K. Ramachandran . The pilgrim spot is MOUNT KAILASH , a mountain in the Kinnaur district of the Indian state, Himachal Pradesh. MOUNT KAILASH of Kinnaur……. in mythology ,considered to be the winter abode of Lord Shiva. The natural LINGAM is 98 ft high and never covered with snow even when the entire mountains surrounding it have 30-40 ft snow in winters. Sun sets opposite to this mountain. The Kinnaur Kailash has a height of 6500 meters and is considered as sacred by both Hindus and Bhuddist. One of my greatest wish is to ascend this pilgrim spot , atleast once in this life time.
Once again I wish all my friends a beautiful year ahead !
I am here again to spread some more notes on positive thoughts !
All of us feel shattered by events at times, but the disciplined among us not only cope, they also emerge stronger. The positive emotions generated in us are easy to live with and are more than welcome but the negative ones are hard to endure. While human beings are capable of deep and varying emotions, they are also mercifully blessed with the power to think. And it is this rational part of the mind which can help to undo the damage that our emotions can do to us.
In the words of Shekspheare, ‘There is nothing good or badbut thinking makes it so.’ This well known saying might seem very simplistic, but it is a fact that behind every emotion there is always a thought, even though we might not be consciously aware of it. And since we can control our thoughts, the practice of thinking positively is worth cultivating.
In other words, we can change a disturbing emotion to a pleasant one by changing our thoughts. For example, imagine that you are walking down a road and see a friend at the other end. You realise that the friend has spotted you. You wave out to her but he or she takes no notice of you. The negative thought will be that he or she has deliberately ignored you and you will experience a feeling of rejection and hurt.
But you can try to think differently by telling yourself that may be, she is preoccupied with some disturbing problem of her own and has not really noticed you. Not only will you not feel hurt and rejected, but you may even feel sympathy for her.
It is important to realise at the outset that while we may try to change others according to our likes and dislikes, we are unlikely to succeed. The only person we can really change is ourself, and this change we can achieve by altering our attitudes to people and circumstances.
Anger, for instance, is thoroughly negative emotion . Of course, it is normal for us to feel angry sometimes, because we are not saints but are imperfect human beings. But one often regrets the expression of angry feelings, especially if they are impulsive. So calm appraisal of the situation can be made which might dull the sharpness of our angry feelings, as we look at both sides of the problem.
Anger is the price we pay for someone ele’s mistakes! Our angry feelings harm only us ( both mentally and physically) because the target of our anger is not even aware of these destructive emotions and remains unaffected.
Another emotion that is built into us is anxiety. We find ourselves worrying about day-to-day things which we must do and have not done. Worry, in fact, can help us to be real achievers. But worry can also be destructive.
We imagine the worst when it comes to matters relating to our spouses, our children or to whom we care the most. Worrying about something is far worse than the thing itself, for our worry feeds on our imagination . Also, constant worry depletes our emotional and physical energy so that when we are faced with a major problem, we cannot cope with it as well as we could have, if we had not used up so much of our energy earlier.
When confronted with a problem that might seem insurmountable, we can distract ourselves by turning our minds to something else. Creative activities like writing or reading, especially if they are already hobbies , can be taken up at such times.
No wonder, social work has been reffered to by someone as “selfish altruism,” which may seem a contradiction in terms. We have to live with our emotions , both positive and negative, but we can nurture the positive ones while minimising the effect of the destructive ones. The extent to which we can do this will ultimately decide how well adjusted or otherwise we might be. Our happiness or unhappiness in life will depend largely on our ability to control our emotions by tempering them without reason!
News Paper play an important role in ones life. An ordinary person begins his day with these six or seven sheets of paper filled with the daily news and all sorts of happenings around the world. He prefer to pick the newspaper even before having a strong cup of coffee. I miss my childhood days. I still remember, during those days , me and my brother used to fight for the sheets . But nowadays I feel reluctant to read news paper especially in the morning hours. I don’t know, ‘whether it is worth reading or not ? ‘ The front page of almost all newspapers are full of bad news . Crime, Molestation, Accidents, Robbery, Terrorism …the list goes on and on….
We are confronted with the dramatic events of politics and politicians , their statements with no sincerity in their words and we fools are subject to read it and to believe it or not . Thank God the choice is left for us !
Another news may be the price hike in diesel, petrol, gas, milk, rice , vegetables etc etc etc… which an ordinary man fear to face with normal mind.
Another distressing news front page capture would be the accidents occurring every single hours on our smooth polished roads and the heart breaking images of unfortunate human beings on loosing their beloveds.
Yet another worst news which I hate to read or to publish in my post , are news with titles “A teacher molested his student” , “A teenager killed his girlfriend” , ” Father raped his daughter”.
Moreover we can’t compel our children to read news paper as there are no news worth reading and no role model to point out . To keep them aware of the morals and values we have our history texts.
Anyway there is no scarcity for negative news in this corporate world. But why should we normal beings get negatively charged by injecting all these poisons to our nerves. I believe one should begin his day with positive thoughts otherwise his whole day would get spoiled by nervousness, fear and anxiety.
I fear whether our world has become such a worst place to live in with no good news or Are the medias exaggerating the negative news with their own skills?
On having a habit of being cultivated from years , my hands rush to pick up the news paper in the early hours but all of a sudden I drop it down as I don’t want to be a prey myself by filling my mind with negativities. Anyways I don’t want to spoil my day with negative thoughts!
I believe God Almighty and always remember and worship HIM or HER deep in my mind in the form of ‘Krishna’, ‘Shiva’, ‘ Ganapathi’, ‘Devi Mookambika’ , ‘ Chinakkathur Amma’ , ” Cherukunnathukavil Amma’ and so on..’.Jesus Christ’ also appears in my prayers. Though they are all one, I used to remind each of them constantly all along my routine works, but not was in a habbit of frequently visiting temples as my meditation rarely works in the midst of crowded pollution. I have always believed that being honest to ourself and without doing any harm to others, physically or emotionally, we can hold the Almighty’s hands with much confidence.
One favourite vaccation spot for me is Mookambika temple in Kollur, Karnataka. There I could easily find many quiet and green spots where I could sit for hours and meditate. I could notice that my chantings and my thoughts would effortlessly lock into the same rhythm of the winds, the woods, and the streams and rivulets gently meandering down the slopes. I would feel one with nature.
Once, I had a strange experience or a strange dream, which I could still recollect with every emotions or feelings, I had at that time.
At the end of a day, when I approach my bed, I’ve always felt that I was fortunate enough to get into deep sleep without any hindrance. I used to see nightmares, but those dosen’t last long and vanishes from my mind, the next day itself.
It was an ordinary night . As usual, after all my routine works I approached my bed to get disappeared myself from all my senses. My husband beside me was already in deep sleep and I too followed his path. It was almost before the crack of dawn , I found myself sitting in my bed and weeping bitterly with tears flowing constantly through both my cheeks. My whole body was shivering . My husband beside me got startled on seeing me, out of control. He shook both my shoulders and wondered what had happened with me. I struggled for words but couldn’t speak anything at that moment as it took hours for me to realise that I was in a dream.
I was standing in an edge of a tranquil field of ‘CHINAKKATHUR KAVU’ ‘ a famous temple near to our house. It was before the crack of dawn . I paused in admire. There in the field, a few yards from me, a form of a DEVI or AMMA dressed up in red clothes with crown on her head and anklets on her ankles came walking in procession, followed by many devotees. After having her bath in the holy pond of CHINAKKATHUR KAVU ‘ SHE’ was proceeding towards the temple. I couldn’t believe my senses. Yes, SHE was DEVI MOOKAMBIKA. My whole body began shivering and by folding both my hands , I kept my eyes wide open to seek a glance of THE DIVINE MOTHER. Almost hidden behind a throng of diciples, I could barely see DEVI. As my silent devotional prayer grew in intensity , SHE looked at me and beckoned me to approach. The others made a way for me. I bowed at her sacred feet with intense gratitude. My heart leaped with joy and tears flowed constantly, on extreme ecstasy. The hypnotic effects of music created a divine atmosphere. It was almost like locking into the true rhythm of the universe.
I can’t still believe , SHE placed her hands in my forehead and asked, ” Do you want to see KRISHNA ?” I shook my head in utter joy and SHE pointed her fingers to the field . It was still dark in the field but I did see a rainbow, circled the ground three times and I found a cute little baby of five or six months , laying nudely on the ground. I stared at it and Yes, Yes I saw it was’ LORD KRISHNA ‘ in the form of ‘BALAMURALIKRISHNA ‘ laying on the ground of CHNAKKATHUR Parambu (field). Within seconds the baby vanished from my sight and I saw DEVI , followed by her devotees proceeding towards the CHINAKKATHUR KAVU. I ran behind them with folded hands and saw DEVI entering the innermost Kovil of the temple. I saw devotees sitting on both sides, with folded hands, chanting prayers in the same rhythm. I sat beside them with folded hands and began singing the devotional song which I used to chant in my prayers. I haven’t prayed or sung with such extreme emotion ever in my real life. Suddenly I opened my eyes and found myself sitting in my bed unable to control the extreme emotions. It took hours for me to realise that it was all a dream. Though it was a dream I felt blessed myself for giving me the joy and ecstasy, I haven’t experienced in my life ever before. !
After a week of long hectic work, running after my beloveds, caring them , feasting them with delicious food, helping kids in their learning, doing their laundary, cleaning all the nook and corner of our den , driving to the market to buy fresh vegetables, I long, long for a day ,a day for myself
Rarely I used to get a day for me, to escape from all my househod works, to get lost in my own thoughts, to stand before the mirror to love at my own reflection, to take my pen and scribble some words of my mind, to play some songs with my cute little violin, to chat with some friends of mine or to walk through the pavement all alone feeling the bliss around me , yes a day to spend with all my wild fantasies.
It’s Friday, my beloved’s were away from me with their own special works, leaving me alone to spend a day as I wish.
Birds are starting to fly all about and it’s morning. I woke up and put on the coffee and sat bedraggled next to the window. All the leaves have appeared on the branches. They are spring green. The ivy, curiously, already has yellow leaves- it contains within itself a souvereign of its decay. The sun slants down at this early hour, in this still rainy day. Half of the tree is brilliantly illuminated, the other half is dark green.
The sun slants down a little more outside. I opened my cupboard, took out the beautiful linen dress, I loved the most, given by someone dear, when I turned to twenty two. The fabric, appeared as a sack before me with wild haunting colours, an art work done by an eccentric painter. I threw the dress to the corner of my room and moved to the mirror, hanging on the wall ,next to my bed, to love at my own reflection. A person stood before me, staring at my eyes, with no life on her and yes, I found, it was me, my own reflection, which sent shivers to my spine.
I sat on my armchair with my cute little violin, in a hope to play some songs, I loved the most. Deep in my heart I was trembling and shivering. I couldn’t find my lyrics, all were lost, keeping me blank, as if a blunt butchers knife had broken my skull and served my nerves.
Madly, I ran to the table to pick my pen, to scribble some words of my mind. I fought with me in search for words but my mind was blank, completely blank , with no words, no, not even a single word. I am so numb I cannot think. Pain and bitterness over whelmed me.
I stepped out of my den to feel and love the bliss around me. The pavement seemed lonely with no beings and no murmerings. The steps beneath me began to shake as it would bury me, lively underneath. I did see the huge trees swaying in the strong wind which slowly developed to form a hurricane .
I ran back home, closed the doors behind me, cried loud at the top of my voice, to save me from this abys of emptiness. How I longed for someone to hear on me , but all were far far away from me.
Some people say , “How can you live without knowing ?”
I always live without knowing . That is easy.
How you get to know is what I want to know.
Lover of words, languages ,novels, stories,poetry, writing and music.
Living in the south of India, Kerala.
In our today world it is impossible for one to believe that a man can live up to the age of 150 years let alone 250 years. According to Time Magazine and the New York Times that were published in the year 1933 , there died a man whose age was 256 years. I am not sure if he was lucky to have lived up to this age or not .
He went by the name Li Ching Yun . In his life time he was able to bury 23 wives. He was able to get 180 decendants by the time of his death . If he were in Africa he would have been the role model of many men as the worth of man was measured by the number of wives and children one had .
I dedicate this blog to my dear old friends with whom I had been for seven years , from class one to class seven , in a boarding of S.T.THOMAS CONVENT SCHOOL , OLAVAKKODE , PALAKKAD . Actually more than friends they were my sisters with whom I shared my bread, my bed , my naughtiness, my mischievness, my happiness , my sorrows and what not all my childhood memories are blended with them . Though it was a short peroid of seven years it holds memories for hundred years.
Once when I was in class ten I had been to CALICUT airport to receive my father , a beautiful girl came up to me and asked , “Are you Shoba Menon who was in the boarding of S.T.TH OMAS CONVENT ? ” To my utter amazement she said , she was PADMINI , four years senior to me and who was with me in those golden days. She said , she was leaving to BOMBAY and have got engaged with RAVI , who was in LONDON . She looked more beautiful but her curly hair have changed to long one.
She was the most most beautiful girl not only of our boarding but even of our whole school. She had won many trophies in district and state youth festival competitions for Bharatnatyam , Mohiniyattam , Kuchipudi , and group dances. Every one in the boarding were fans of her.
Once busy in shopping for my brothers wedding , a soft pat at my shoulders made me to turn back and a respectable lady in her thirties , pointing her fingers towards me asked , “You Shoba Menon , Am I right ? ” She introduced herself , “Me BEENA RAJAGOPAL , now senior correspondent in “MATHRUBHUMI “. How I wondered to see the eight standard girl who was with me , have changed and grown up to be an owner of such a strong personality !!!
We girls used to represent our competitors to other schools where the youth festivals performed. Those were very tough competitions and we support our participants by cheering , clapping and shouting with all our spirit. We return back singing and dancing ,with huge trophies in our hands.
In the beginning , our seniors were provided rooms upstairs and we juniors were in down stairs. Later , our boarding SISTER found the senior girls flirting through their windows with the boys standing in queue to seek a glance at those beautiful girls. She shifted them to down stairs and we juniors were send upstairs.
In my room were twelve SWEET girls of class seven and class eight. We did all the mischievness and naughtiness in that cute , charming room. At night we used to change our rooms to meet our friends in other room . Each day our SISTER visited the rooms io watch whether the lights have switched off and the inmates have gone to bed. We managed to keep our pillows straight covering it with bedsheets and she used to return back satisfied on seeing , all of us in deep sleep.
LATHIKA , a beautiful girl with long straightened hair of class eight , was one who shared my room. Once , her parents came to take her back home. It was not a vaccation time and we girls wondered , why is she packing all her clothes and books with her. She looked shy and one of my friend said , “She is going to get married” . We saw our seniors wishing her and I too beleieved she was going to get married in that very small age. Two weeks later she returned back wearing new dress and looked even more beautiful. Our teachers and seniors welcomed her with sweets and flowers and I stayed wondering , what had happened with her. Later I knew she have grown up to become a complete girl.
PREMLATHA , our ENGLISH MISS was unmarried but her features showed she was little aged. A man in motor cycle often visited her. She always said , she had a resemblance with ” POORNIMA JAIRAM” , a renowned actress of that time. Actually , she looked like a jocker with dark lipsticks and overmakeup.
Once on our free time , ME and my friend RITA MADHAVAN perfornmed a mimicry , imitating PREMLATHA MISS . We imitated her way of walking , her way of speaking , and her way of dressing . She used to wear silk sarees with one layer in front and we used a silk shawl to imitate her. My friends supported us with good applause.
The other day I had a quarrel with my friend MEENA , who shared her bed next to me. The very next day she went straight to the staff room to meet PREMLATHA Miss and complained of our perfomance. On our Englih class PREMLATHA Miss , with a long cane stick in her hand called both of us to stand in front of the class and ordered to perform the mimicry once again. We both stood still and she began beating us twenty one times each on our small tender legs. Blood shoot up and with severe pain we went up to our seniors to complain this. They consoled us but didn’t show the courage to question the proud PREMLATHA Miss. Even my friends who supported us with applause dared to speak a single word against her. MEENA , No regrets or complains , Love to see you 🙂
MINI MARIA MATHEW , yet another good friend of mine was beautiful with sharp dark eyes. A dacecollar boy of another division used to wait for her in our school corridors . Gradually she began talking with him and once our SCIENCE MISS caught them together. On seeing ME waiting for my friend , she asked – ‘Do you too have a lover’? I was shocked for a moment, then replied , ” No not now , but I might find one in future.” I am forty one now and this was an outrageous remark to make more than eighteen years ago.
REEJA m y friend , competed with ME in a light music competion held in our school. As always engaged with other mischeivness , I didn’t take proper rehersals. She , who took competitions seriously did hard work and presented a beautiful song. Me , the next participant started singing with much confidence but forgot the lyrics in the middle. Stunned for a moment , I managed to complete the song by adding my own lyrics . The JUDGES and friends greeted ME with huge applause , but no one noticed the game I have played. To my utter surprise I won first and REEJA got second in the competition.
Later in the evening , I erased my name from the certificate and wrote REEJA’S name in place of it. At night I went up and handed her the certificate . She hold me tightly and kissed ME in both my cheeks. Still I used to wonder from where did I get those four lines from?
Once our boarding SISTER gave us permission to see a devotional movie which was playing in one of the theatres of our town . We were represented by beautiful unmarried teachers , who stayed with us in the hostel . Teachers and senior girls preffered to see a Malayalam movie named ‘ VENAL’ . It was an adult movie and the hero and heroine were SUKUMARAN and JALAJA respectively . On our way back , teachers made us to promise to keep it as a secret. Our SISTER was waiting for us in the parlour and on seeing us she asked to explain the story . My friends looked startled and my teachers rolled their eyes in a special way . My WARDEN apprached ME to describe it and I boldly began explaining – “JESUS CHRIST a hero married an heroine JALAJA and later on JESUS left her and JALAJA married another man . SISTER looked rudely at the teachers and later my SCIENCE MISS pressed both my ears with her sharp curved nail.
Yet another incident I still hold with a sense of guilty consious , happened with me and my dear fried USHA BALACHANDRAN . We both lost our Malayalam texts and our MISS made us both to stand outside the class for the whole day. Pointing her long cane stick she warned , she will use it the other day if we didn’t bring the texts with us .
On evening we both began searching for our texts on every nook and corner of our room . At last I got a text from the lower basement of a cupboard , with no cover and no name on it . I said it was my book and USHA persisted it was hers . The book was presnted before our WARDEN and she with her long cane stick asked us to tell the truth . USHA showed an artwork done by her in one of its pages and claimed it was hers . The long cane stick of my MALAYALAM MISS played swinging in front of my eyes and by closing both my eyes I promised it was mine. We both got enough from both our SISTER as well as from our MALAYALAM MISS .
Again there are lots and lots of MEMORIES related with my other friends BEENA KURIEN , REENA JACOB , RESHMI , ROSHNI , SHIRLY CHAKO ………and if I go on writing each of them I couldn’t take my fingers from the key board.