After a week of long hectic work, running after my beloveds, caring them , feasting them with delicious food, helping kids in their learning, doing their laundary, cleaning all the nook and corner of our den , driving to the market to buy fresh vegetables, I long, long for a day ,a day for myself
Rarely I used to get a day for me, to escape from all my househod works, to get lost in my own thoughts, to stand before the mirror to love at my own reflection, to take my pen and scribble some words of my mind, to play some songs with my cute little violin, to chat with some friends of mine or to walk through the pavement all alone feeling the bliss around me , yes a day to spend with all my wild fantasies.
It’s Friday, my beloved’s were away from me with their own special works, leaving me alone to spend a day as I wish.
Birds are starting to fly all about and it’s morning. I woke up and put on the coffee and sat bedraggled next to the window. All the leaves have appeared on the branches. They are spring green. The ivy, curiously, already has yellow leaves- it contains within itself a souvereign of its decay. The sun slants down at this early hour, in this still rainy day. Half of the tree is brilliantly illuminated, the other half is dark green.
The sun slants down a little more outside. I opened my cupboard, took out the beautiful linen dress, I loved the most, given by someone dear, when I turned to twenty two. The fabric, appeared as a sack before me with wild haunting colours, an art work done by an eccentric painter. I threw the dress to the corner of my room and moved to the mirror, hanging on the wall ,next to my bed, to love at my own reflection. A person stood before me, staring at my eyes, with no life on her and yes, I found, it was me, my own reflection, which sent shivers to my spine.
I sat on my armchair with my cute little violin, in a hope to play some songs, I loved the most. Deep in my heart I was trembling and shivering. I couldn’t find my lyrics, all were lost, keeping me blank, as if a blunt butchers knife had broken my skull and served my nerves.
Madly, I ran to the table to pick my pen, to scribble some words of my mind. I fought with me in search for words but my mind was blank, completely blank , with no words, no, not even a single word. I am so numb I cannot think. Pain and bitterness over whelmed me.
I stepped out of my den to feel and love the bliss around me. The pavement seemed lonely with no beings and no murmerings. The steps beneath me began to shake as it would bury me, lively underneath. I did see the huge trees swaying in the strong wind which slowly developed to form a hurricane .
I ran back home, closed the doors behind me, cried loud at the top of my voice, to save me from this abys of emptiness. How I longed for someone to hear on me , but all were far far away from me.